A friend of mine is hurting. He declared it in public, online the other day and I was so proud of him. He was unafraid to say his depression has again overtaken him. And his friends responded in kind – kindly, with compassion and understanding and I was so proud of them!
I’ve been trying to think of things I might say to him to try and make him feel better, although, I have been batted about lately between the darkness and the light, up one day, down the next, feeling blue on waking only to find my energy late afternoon, getting out of bed then and getting things done around my home.
I don’t know what to expect each day anymore. I don’t think my friend does either. He thought everything was okay before it wasn’t.
Living with clinical depression is like trying to make a home in a tiny boat on a big ocean. I feel so buffeted sometimes and yet there are days, sometimes many days, that are blissfully calm, where I can walk on the deck of my boat, under the sun, breathing in the air and just enjoying my time here. But there are no weather forecasters in this world so I can’t be sure when the next storm is going to blow up and block out the sun, leaving me to scramble below deck and hide under the blankets on my bunk trying to hold on until the calm returns.
Maybe my friend feels the same way. Hold on buddy! Hold on my dear friend.
When I’m in a depressive episode words don’t really help me. I can’t really focus on what other people are saying to me anyway. And if I do hear what someone’s saying I can’t retain it. Depression short circuits my short term memory.
It does help to know that if I do feel ready to talk there will be someone there to listen to me. It means so much just to know someone who loves me is there for me.
I love you my friend! If you want to talk just let me know. I’m thinking of you!
If you know someone suffering from depression please don’t just leave them alone to battle this demon on their own. Let them know you’re there for them. Even if they don’t want to talk. Slip a card under their door, send flowers, bright, beautiful flowers, hug them, cry with them, eat junk food with them.
Don’t tell them to get over it. Don’t tell them things aren’t so bad. Don’t believe that they are just feeling sad and it will go away tomorrow. Don’t try to make sense of it. We can’t, how could you?
Just be there for them, even if its just on the other end of the phone.